What I've Done(Songfic)
Apart of the Songfic Series This is a songfic about Boulder saying he's sorry he brought BloodClan to the forest. And this is in no relationship to Foresty's What I've Done. OK, so enjoy! BramblestarJoin WindClan the awesome! JOIN IT NOW!!!!!! :D 00:26, August 14, 2010 (UTC) What I've Done In this farewell. There's no blood. There's no alibi. Cuz I've drawn regret. From the truth Of a thousand lies. I walked into Blackstar's new den. "I'm leaving." I told him, then walked away. He didn't try to stop me. Of course he wouldn't. I brought the worst enemy the Clans could've had into the forest. And they very nearly took it from us. I was sorry. I was so sorry. But sorry catches no prey. I had to leave, I had to get away from it. Every day, walking past the place where ShadowClan buried their dead on the way to hunting or a border patrol reminded me that many of those graves were full because of me. "I'm sorry." I whisper to them as I pass on my way out. "So sorry." So let mercy come. And wash away What I've done! I'll face myself. To cross out what I've become! Erase myself! And cross out what I've done! I needed a ways out. Even if I left the forest, even if I went all the way around the world. The guilt would follow. I needed to just make it up. But that was impossible. How could I have been so stupid? So thoughtless. In my haste to become a favored warrior of Tigerstar's, to be true to my Clan, my leader, I killed many cats. Including him ironically. I sighed. I was getting no where. I needed something...something to stop the guilt... I had it. I was going to march into Twoleg place and kill as many of Scourge's cats as I could. Maybe I could make it up to the Clans that way. I'd more then likely die myself, but I didn't care. I'd kill the cats who had tormented me as a kit and the guilt would dissappear. It would be perfect. Put to rest. What you thought of me. While I clean this slate. With the hands. Of uncertainty! I stood in front of the two BloodClan guards growling. I had arrived in Twoleg Place and had found them. I could take them. They were weak and starving looking. And then the Clans wouldn't think of me badly anymore! If I ever got back to tell them what I did. Maybe I'd get reborn in StarClan! Yes, that would be amazing. I could come back and be the same cat, just different! I snapped my attention back to the cats I was supposed to kill. I had to get there first. I was uncertain about my plan. What if StarClan didn't except me as I was a killer? What if I just died before killing a cat? What if the guilt still nagged me? But I had to do it now. So let mercy come! And wash away What I've done! I'll face myself. To cross out what I've become! Erase myself. And let go of what I've done! I slashed and whirrled, warrior skills coming in handy. The two were dead before they relized what was happening. I could almost feel a little guilt drifting away. two Clan cats were avenged. I padded on, slicing and killing every cat I met. By the time I reached the camp, I had killed almost ten BloodClan cats and recieved some very nasty wounds and many scratches. At the camp, the cats all turned to me. "I'm here to avenge my fallen Clanmates." I told them, breathing heavily. StarClan, I was tired. Suddenly they attacked me. I sliced and bit, killing some but there were...too...many.... For what I've done! I start again. And take whatever pain may come! Today this ends. I'm forgiving what I've done! I lay there among the heap of bodies. Most of them were dead, killed by me. Without Scourge these cats were horrible fighters. Some of them were just wounded. but apart of me knew I had finally avenged myself and my Clanmates. I had been forgiven somewhere. My thoughts drifted back to being Reborn. If in StarClan they let me do that I think I'd like to try it. And yes, I knew I was going to StarClan now. I was dying. But I knew it would happen. I knew this war inside of me ended, one way or the other. And it was over. I felt peaceful. I'll face myself. To cross out what I've become! Erase myself. To let go of what I've done! I had always feared death. but it wasn't so scary. I felt peaceful. And it wasn't scary, like I was suddenly stopping breathing. I didn't need to breath anymore. My heart didn't need to beat. I was just passing into the next part of my life. All the other, surviving BloodClan cats had fled and I was alone, my last, rasping breaths filling the cold air. I wasn't the young warrior, eyes shining with the hope of impressing his leader. No, I had changed. What I've done! Perhaps StarClan would forgive me. Perhaps not. But I knew deep inside that I had forgiven myself. And that was what mattered. I glanced around at the bodies weakly and for a moment I was transported back to that snowy days at Four Trees... Then I was with my Clan, laughing, hanging out with my friends, making flirty faces at Russetfur while my friends laughed as she gave me the stink eye. That was home to me. I heaved my last breath. I was forgiven. Forgiving what I've done! Category:Songfic Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics